A Little R & R, Part 1

::::THIS POST IS FROM MY GUEST BLOGGER REUBEN LEWIS AS PART 1 OF OUR NEW BLOGSHARE SERIES::::

I made a new friend this week! In our totally awesome friend making time we managed to come up with the idea of a blog mash up. I think it’s just because I’m lazy when it comes to blog writing and he felt sorry for me. Right now is a little bit of a get to know you time. For the next few weeks you’ll see Robert’s answers to some questions we came up with together and soon after you’ll see my response to those same questions. So sit back and relax because it time for “A little R&R”

1. What friendship did you not maintain that you wish you would have?
Malcolm. Although I had no choice in the matter. He stopped being my friend because I told him to stop embarrassing me in public. Most people are my friends just because the like embarrassing me in public. He thought I was just being haughty. Um…duh! You do know me right? I still feel bad though because he was smart and funny and cool and kind of a dick. All the things I like in a friend.

2. Have you ever had "friend sex"? Could you maintain the friendship afterwards?
Ummm… with who have I not had friend sex? My goal for 2007 was to make a friend that I hadn’t had sex with. I made some new friends. Only one hasn’t seen me naked.

3. Did you ever have someone that really liked you as a friend that you just didn't care for? How did you handle it?
Frankly I like very few of the people I hang out with. People in general make me want to hit them when they talk to me. Not to say I’m not friendly. I am. It just that when I’m being polite to someone I’m secretly thinking of jamming my fingers in my ears and screaming “la,la,la,la”. So in short I smile a lot and offer to take them out to dinner.

4. You're on a 3 week vacation. Each week you have to take a different friend & go to a different place. Who do you take? Where do you go? What do you do while you’re there?
Week 1: Who: Ab Where: Brazil What: THE FOLLOWING STAMENTS HAVE BEEN CENSORED BY THE FCC. THEY CLEARLY VIOLATE ALL STANDARDS OF DECENCY. ANY ATTEMPT TO DISCOVER THE TRUE NATURE OF THESE COMMENTS COULD RESULT IN A PRISON SENTENCE NO LESS THAN FIVE YEARS AND FINES NO LESS THAN $100,000.
Week 2: Who: Kris Where: Jamaica What: THESE SENTANCES HAVE BEEN REDACTED BY THE CIA. PLEASE BE AWARE THAT ATTEMPTING TO DISCOVER THE TRUE NATURE OF THESE STAMENTS COULD RESULT IN BIG SCARY GUYS COMING IN TO YOUR HOUSE, ROUGHING YOU UP, AND EATING ALL YOUR LUNCH MEAT.
Week 3: Who: Sloan Where: New York What: Shopping.

5. You and your dog(s) (man's best friend) find an injured cat on the side of the road. What happens next?
Bella hides behind my legs in fear and eventually will run around me until I am trapped in her leash. If Mullet had opposable thumbs he with poke it with a stick and drool but since he doesn’t he would just do that doggy head to the side thing and maybe pee on it.

6. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done because a friend told you to do it?
I was usually the guy daring my friends to do stupid things. But that only because some told me to pull my shorts up super high and go down one of those 5 story water slides. The shorts were never seen again.

7. Have you ever broken the law to help a friend, or helped them break the law/cover it up? Provide details without soliciting a conviction.
I’m going with a no one that one. Just so you know if this is your way of asking me to be a part of you international drug cartel I’m out. I’m out and I’m telling

8. If you had to sleep with one of your friends in order to save the world, who would it be and why?
I’ve already slept with all of my friends so whoever happens to be the closest.

9. What’s the one thing you said to a friend that you regret and wish you could take back?
In high school because I was a stupid boy I pointed out to a friend that she was probably fat because she was Asian and they weren’t metabolically evolved to eat American food. I’m not sure if I could come up with a sentence that has more offensive statements in it than that one. I still feel bad about it and I don’t feel bad about anything. I’m going to write a letter to Mo’nique and Pat Morita asking for forgiveness.

10. What’s the one thing you never said to a friend that you want/wanted to say?
Please return my porn.


"A Little R&R" is a Blogshare Series between Reuben & Robert (R&R). We each contribute 5 questions to total 10, then cross-post our answers in two parts / reverse order. Meaning, I post his replies while he posts mine. 2nd post is we each post our own replies to our own blogs. Reuben is a friend from work and I apologize in advance for unleashing him on you. Just kidding - as you can see, the guy is a riot. To learn more about Reuben, check him out on my Friends List on my MySpace Profile (he's last on my list). Again -- just kidding, Reuben!